Why are you reading this?
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Send an Armored Truck off the deep end.
Clobber a civilian, and feel good about doing it.
Kill the first boss
Kill 20 enemies
Drive 0.5 KM at maximum speed
Complete ONE THIRD of the original levels.
But will she love me now that I can see at all?
Win a gold cup!
Do you have the guts to start play?
Finish all the levels... Oh, but that's JUST the levels!